Burning the Candle at Both Ends

Lilith sighed, her forked tail twitching with irritation as she watched Jezebel sashay past her cubicle. The newly promoted succubus manager's stilettos clicked against the brimstone floor, leaving tiny scorch marks in their wake.

"Can you believe it?" Lilith hissed to her coworker, Beelzebub. "Little Miss Nail Polish has been here for what, a year? And now she's our boss?"

Beelzebub shrugged, his multiple eyes blinking in unison. "That's hell for you. Corruption's the name of the game."

"But that's just it!" Lilith exclaimed, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "This isn't some infernal influence. They learned this from the humans! It's all office politics and brown-nosing."

She glanced at Jezebel, who was now admiring her perfectly manicured claws in the reflection of a cursed mirror. "While we've been working our horns off, she's been 'nailing' her promotion by doing nothing but polishing her nails!"

Beelzebub nodded sagely. "You've got a point there. Remember when hell was about good old-fashioned torment and suffering? Now it's all quarterly reports and synergy."

Lilith slumped in her chair, feeling the heat of burnout from both the eternal hellfire and her thankless job. "I can't take it anymore. I'm thinking of jumping ship."

Beelzebub's eyebrows shot up, disappearing into his horns. "You mean...?"

"Yep," Lilith confirmed, a mischievous glint in her eye. "I'm considering going back to my old gig. You know, upstairs."

"Back to being an angel?" Beelzebub whispered, shocked. "But... how?"

Lilith smirked, tapping the side of her nose. "Let's just say I've picked up a few juicy tidbits during my time down here. Information that certain feathered friends might find... interesting."

Beelzebub's eyes widened even further. "You wouldn't!"

"Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do," Lilith shrugged. "Besides, I hear they have a great healthcare program. Dental coverage for fangs is hard to come by these days."

As if on cue, Jezebel's voice rang out across the office. "Lilith! I need those soul acquisition reports on my desk by the end of day. And make sure they're hot off the press – literally!"

Lilith rolled her eyes. "You know what? I think it's time I spread my wings again. This place is going to Hea— well, you know what I mean."

With a wink at Beelzebub, Lilith stood up, smoothed down her flame-retardant pantsuit, and sauntered towards Jezebel's office. It was time to hand in her resignation – and maybe drop a few hints about her angelic connections. After all, in the corporate world of Hell, it pays to keep your options open and your halo polished.